Before there was any of this, there was me and you.
You were the first decision I made to start my family. Before you, I was just a girl.
Then I was a girl and her dog.
The reason I had to come home, the happiest face and the best cuddles at the end of every day.
We filled our days with car rides, long walks, afternoons at the park and weekends at the market. You were my only responsibility and being with you was my top priority. Then I brought your dad home and it was just the three of us. You were the center of the snuggles, with four hands to pet you and four arms to hold you close.
I remember the day you were sick and I stayed home from work to build a pillow fort in the living room and fed you chicken and pumpkin puree all day. You have always been my entire heart.
I want you to know that never changed.
Every addition to our family that came through that door never replaced or minimized you. You and me, plus two more. A family unit of four. A girl and her dog(s) and her husband.
You have always been the one to sit next to me on the tough days when I can't keep it together. You lay your head on my shoulder and lick a stray tear from my cheek. You have always been the pocket full of sunshine I would need, the exhale that follows a shaky breath.
When my belly got big, you just snuggled up to it, not knowing what was to come. When I all but exploded and you didn’t see me for days, you waited at the door until I came back. Then four became five.
I want you to know I never loved you less for a second. Some people told me I would, but I didn't.
The first few weeks were tough, but when I was alone in the nursery with a sleepless baby and a head full of postpartum thoughts, you always made sure I was never really alone. When I didn’t have words to describe how I was feeling, you didn’t need them. When I didn’t have the energy to play fetch, you laid with me. Some nights I didn’t even see you, but I knew.
When people talk about a soul dog, know you’ll always be mine.
You’re the silver lining of everything. You were my compass for this life we have. You were where it all started, the good stuff. The stability, the love, the purpose. You were the beginning of our family, and we got to create the whole thing together piece by piece.
The decision to pack up the car, rent a house on the beach, and take you and jagger to the beach years ago is a vivid core memory I’ll keep for the rest of my life. The happiest I have ever seen you is on a beach, running through the sand, getting knocked by the waves.
Your entire life, all you have ever wanted was to just be wherever I am. All I want is to be wherever you’re the happiest. So we took you to the beach again, and again. I hope to get you a home there one day too. So you can be as happy as you make me every day.
They say you’ll never love a dog as much as you love your children, but I disagree. It’s different. Not less, not more. My love never dwindled, my heart just grew. There is a piece of my heart that has always been just yours, and it will go with you when you do.
The irony is I named you Gemini when I found you, because I thought a Gemini was the sign I was meant to spend my life with. But it turns out, the only Gemini I ever needed was you.
