I knew this would happen.
I knew you would understand.
I knew I would still feel guilty.
I knew we would still make plans.
I knew I would get overwhelmed
And a raincheck would turn into cancelling them.
It’s only been a few weeks.
So the patience hasn’t been worn thin.
But what about when it’s been a few months
And I’m not as flexible as I have always been.
I’ve got a schedule and a curfew
A whole new world of responsibility
Please know you’re not the only one
Who feels it when you say you miss me
I’m in love with my new life
But it quite literally happened overnight
So I’m stuck in the bittersweet middle
Of figuring out what that looks like
Because I loved my life before
I loved my life with you
Yet it’s me
Who went and changed the rules
“Blood is thicker than water”
Has never been the case for me
When you love someone
They become your chosen family
& family means no one gets left behind
but what if that’s not the case with mine?
These are my thoughts
Sitting here at two a.m.
When I’ve been awake for 36 hours
& the emotional exhaustion is setting in
I want to see you
To tell you how hard it’s been
To explain that I don’t have regrets
Just fears
About how all the things I would never forget
May not have space in my brain these days
But I’m still here
& I still care
So as i swing frantically from the chandelliers
inside my own sanity
and blame my loss of recollection on
‘mom brain’
I ask that you
don’t forget about me
